so many of these same thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks the minute I turned 30. suddenly life doesn’t seem like “forever”. freelance life stops feeling like an endless world of possibilities and more like a matchstick on fire (the clock is ticking!!) working to remain present and believe in a flourishing future where i can still maintain a sense of autonomy and freedom and build the life i want. because life is NOW too. thanks for sharing, enjoying your substack!
Absolutely! The matchstick metaphor is so apt. But this is a good reminder – it's important to remember that life is happening now too and not get too consumed by the future-tripping.
Hiiii, elder millennial/career freelancer whose longest "real jobs" were all in retail including American Apparel over here feeling this HARD. I (finally) graduated university the year after the 2008 recession, and I find I need to constantly remind myself of how greatly that shifted my life trajectory whether I realized it or not. Being the youngest in a blended family where I have one half sister 20 years older than me and one 13 years older than me, meaning we're very nearly stratified into Boomer/Gen X/Gen Y, is a real mind fuck and I've always basically felt like the idiot loser of the bunch. It's so easy to forget all the odds that have been stacked against our generation and how radically different our options have been. I'm also ultimately happier as a freelancer, but that doesn't mean it isn't terrifying staring down middle age and beyond still teetering on the edge of things much of the time. Love your voice and your thoughts <3
Ah yes, I remember you telling me you were a fellow American Apparel alum! The 2008 recession shifted our trajectory MASSIVELY! And I always forget it and beat myself up about not making more and not being further in my career. And I absolutely agree - freelancing is so much better for me in the long run, but it's absolutely terrifying. A lot of the time I feel like I'm constantly fighting for something, or dog paddling and just barely keeping my head above water. It would be nice to someday experience a life where I'm not just surviving.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Grateful for you! x
In an effort to help my dad and other loved ones better understand my brain (and now my psychiatrist, therapist, and neuropsychologist), I’ve always called what you’re describing at the beginning of your newsletter “weight of the world syndrome.” And it feels impossible to put it all down.
Really enjoying reading all that you have to say each week and finding that I relate to so much of it!
Yes, that is the perfect way to describe it! I'm going to have to start using that myself. Thank you for reading, Mickayla. I'm so grateful for your support and glad you're able to find something to relate to here <3
I really like the way you write and convey all of your thoughts and feelings. And it looks like we have the same cravings for this summer ☀️ xx
so many of these same thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks the minute I turned 30. suddenly life doesn’t seem like “forever”. freelance life stops feeling like an endless world of possibilities and more like a matchstick on fire (the clock is ticking!!) working to remain present and believe in a flourishing future where i can still maintain a sense of autonomy and freedom and build the life i want. because life is NOW too. thanks for sharing, enjoying your substack!
Absolutely! The matchstick metaphor is so apt. But this is a good reminder – it's important to remember that life is happening now too and not get too consumed by the future-tripping.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Joy! <3
Hiiii, elder millennial/career freelancer whose longest "real jobs" were all in retail including American Apparel over here feeling this HARD. I (finally) graduated university the year after the 2008 recession, and I find I need to constantly remind myself of how greatly that shifted my life trajectory whether I realized it or not. Being the youngest in a blended family where I have one half sister 20 years older than me and one 13 years older than me, meaning we're very nearly stratified into Boomer/Gen X/Gen Y, is a real mind fuck and I've always basically felt like the idiot loser of the bunch. It's so easy to forget all the odds that have been stacked against our generation and how radically different our options have been. I'm also ultimately happier as a freelancer, but that doesn't mean it isn't terrifying staring down middle age and beyond still teetering on the edge of things much of the time. Love your voice and your thoughts <3
Ah yes, I remember you telling me you were a fellow American Apparel alum! The 2008 recession shifted our trajectory MASSIVELY! And I always forget it and beat myself up about not making more and not being further in my career. And I absolutely agree - freelancing is so much better for me in the long run, but it's absolutely terrifying. A lot of the time I feel like I'm constantly fighting for something, or dog paddling and just barely keeping my head above water. It would be nice to someday experience a life where I'm not just surviving.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Grateful for you! x
In an effort to help my dad and other loved ones better understand my brain (and now my psychiatrist, therapist, and neuropsychologist), I’ve always called what you’re describing at the beginning of your newsletter “weight of the world syndrome.” And it feels impossible to put it all down.
Really enjoying reading all that you have to say each week and finding that I relate to so much of it!
<3
Yes, that is the perfect way to describe it! I'm going to have to start using that myself. Thank you for reading, Mickayla. I'm so grateful for your support and glad you're able to find something to relate to here <3