Permanence and Change.
Welcoming October.
“October is a symphony of permanence and change.”
— Bonaro W. Overstreet
October is finally here, and I have many feelings. My wedding is in just twenty-five days, and that feels impossible. Fall is officially here (technically), and California is enduring yet another heatwave; the temperature is expected to rise to 97 degrees by midday today. I pine for cooler temperatures all summer long as I endure the sweltering temperatures that are quickly becoming the norm in my beloved home state, but it seems I will have to wait a little bit longer to don oversized sweaters and use my oven.
Lindsay Mack of No Bad Cards confirmed what I'd already felt—the Wheel of Fortune is October’s anchor card. Last week, I joked on Instagram about the card’s fearsome reputation. It’s unsettling, after all, to acknowledge that joy and sorrow, success and failure, are inextricably linked. The Wheel of Fortune is a reminder of life’s cyclical nature: what rises must eventually fall, and what sinks will surely rise again. The card can inspire hope or foreboding, depending on where we stand on the ever-turning wheel. Yesterday, as I shuffled my deck to pull a card for the day, the Wheel of Fortune leaped out, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
This duality feels so exceptionally Libra, and so exceptionally October. Permanence and change, fortune and misfortune—each plays an integral role in our lives. There’s a certain wisdom in embracing life’s impermanence, a gift we are better off accepting sooner rather than later. After all, the root of human suffering lies in our longing for the immutable, for things to remain unchanged. My mother, ever the pragmatist, often reminded me when I was growing up that stasis is death. Right now, nothing rings truer. Our lives are always in motion, constantly evolving into new iterations of ourselves. Therein lies the beauty and the tragedy of being alive.
In September, I turned thirty-one. I dove headfirst into the unknown, exploring tarot openly through writing and offering readings to my community, all of which felt terrifying in the moment but I knew were the right decisions to make. Soon, Ed and I will cross a threshold of partnership and become husband and wife, a new chapter of life unfolding before us. I am undergoing so much transformation with my work as I slowly distance myself from social media management (much sooner than expected, I might add) to find something more aligned with my values and proclivity for slowness. So much change. It is frightening—it is thrilling.
And even though I embrace this change wholeheartedly, my nervous system feels knocked off its axis, tilted into the territory of dysregulation. In these frenetically charged moments, we so desperately crave support and security that we often regress. It is a highly pivotal moment; it can either be a portal to a new world or an escape route back into the dull familiarity of your previous life. I approached this territory when I began second-guessing myself and my decision to put my tarot services out into the world, to revive this Substack, and even to start posting more authentically on Instagram. This was all good change and fantastic progress on my part, but it was foreign and unknown. In the past, it was at this threshold that I would typically scrap it all and return to the comfort of the known, even if it hurt and stifled me. I’ve taken jobs that weren’t aligned out of desperation and turned away from what truly mattered, unable to see how it fit into my world. Each time, I chose the comfort of safety over the possibility of growth, reinforcing a maladaptive cycle perpetuated by unhealed wounds. This time, however, I’m daring to break the pattern. And like I said, it is all at once thrilling and terrifying.
Supporting me lately ~
Open. I started using Open last year but paused it when I lost my job in July. After two months without it, I quickly realized it was one of those things I needed to build into my budget—that the $20 I saved each month wasn’t worth what I was losing in exchange. Open’s library of meditations, yoga, breathwork, and pilates has been a godsend during this eclipse season. If you want to try it, you can use this link and get your first month free, on me <3
Shakti Mat & Pillow. This helps me wind down in the evenings when I’ve spent most of the day staring at screens and forgetting to feed myself. It’s terrific for back pain and helps me have the most beautiful, deep sleep.
Erewhon chana masala. Ok, hear me out on this one. Ed and I discovered a while back that Erewhon’s pre-made soups are actually a pretty good value for two people. We buy a couple each week to reserve for when we’re both too exhausted to cook. It’s a great way to ensure we’re getting a healthy meal when we’re too depleted to make the effort. The chana masala is my favorite—it’s lovely paired with fluffy naan & ghee.
Loftie Alarm Clock. Brown noise has become such a huge part of my life since starting grad school that my Spotify recommendations are slowly being taken over by all sorts of ambient noise playlists. I use it to study, and it helps me block out all of the distractions. I also use it at night to help me sleep, and Loftie has many noise options, ranging from white, grey, pink, and more. Truthfully, I had no idea that so much colorful noise existed until recently, but brown quickly became my favorite. It mimics the muffled ambient noise of being on an airplane (in a good way).
Knitting. The most practical time to knit is in the summertime, so you can wear your creations once the weather cools down. But I never crave knitting like I do once there’s a chill in the air. I spent so much time knitting and watching The Traitors (the UK one is our favorite) last year that I now associate knitting with that show. I’ve been taking my projects with me lately, knitting to pass the time while waiting in line or on public transit. It’s a delightful activity for those of us with restless minds. I included one of my favorite easy patterns in the link above. PetiteKnit is the best and I want to make her Cloud Sweater next.
I set up my new-and-improved website last week, and the booking software is much more streamlined. If you tried to book a session or buy a written reading and it did not work properly, I apologize. Setting this up was a massive headache, but it’s finally ready and should no longer have any bugs.
You can now easily book 1:1 sessions with me here, or purchase a written reading here. I’ve also added a more accessible option for mini tarot sessions, which are quick 15-minute readings. If you’re having difficulty deciding which is best for you, book a (free) call with me and we’ll sort it out together.
As always, newsletter subscribers get 15% off with code FRIENDSOFREALM. <3